Now, that title is slightly misleading, surely. I mean, look at me. Do I look like I could destroy anything? (Ed: yes.) This is me, back in the day, when I still lie around with a ‘toy’. Ah, youth. Word of caution to anyone considering welcoming a little pupster into their home: look at your floorcoverings. Are they nice? Do you have nice rugs? Rugs, like this one above, that you’d like to keep? Yes? Then roll ’em up, put ’em away. ‘Cause we are comin’ for them.
Let’s be clear: I’m not a chewer. When I was teething Mum gave me an old leather Puma Mostro trainer, which was one of her favourite trainers but it had seen its day. I chewed the life out of this thing (actually, Puma, you make the toughest leather trainers known to dog-kind – I got the better of the sole and the velcro fastening, but no matter how hard I tried – and I tried – I couldn’t destroy it). But that was all I chewed. No slippers, no furniture, and definitely no rugs.
My ‘problem’ in those early days (if you want to call it a problem, which I don’t) (Ed: ahem *coughs*) was that I didn’t like… how can I put this… peeing on hard surfaces, like pavements (tricky when you live in the city centre surrounded by miles of pavement) or wooden floorboards. Soft surfaces, like grass, or lovely thick woollen rugs, were perfect. So yes, I guess I ‘destroyed’ this rug. And the one in the bedroom. And in Mum’s study. But really, who’s counting? (Ed: me, who now spends time tutting over our bare floorboards and looking longingly at rugs from West Elm and Loaf, wishing I could afford to replace them.)
It’s good that Mum doesn’t bear a grudge…